I reckon it’s high time to write about my career. Cancer and diabetes have ravaged my body over the last five years. I'm drunk most days and eat mostly fast food and junk food; I’ll be dead long before prosecution can put me behind bars.
I was a hired killer. Most of them deserved to die, some were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, it didn’t matter. After a while, it didn’t take much to figure out who was paying me and why somebody was dying.
You don’t care about all of the details of how I ran my business so I’ll get on with the stories; since I’m feeling generous I’ll stick to the ones where a broad ends up dead.
—
My first assignment was for a fast food chain, one you no doubt have eaten at on many occasions. Someone high-up in the company got into the habit of bragging about the company’s less-than-savory business practice so they sent someone to punch his ticket. He told his girlfriend pretty much everything before he died and the guy they sent to kill him missed her, so they hired me to finish the job.
I waited in the woods across from her apartments and snagged her as she was coming home. The girl was not the supermodel you’d expect from a big-time CEO, but cute enough; long frizzy brown hair, a pale face, and big tits under a gray sweatshirt. She moved on soon enough, stepping out of the car with some guy.
I watched her ass jiggle under her yoga pants as she walked up the steps then moved the scope of my suppressed rifle to the back of her head. I looked back one more time after I pulled the trigger, finding the broad slumped over, her brains splattered on the door as piss soaked through her pants.
There’d always be a lingering regret about that job, the mistake I wouldn’t make in my later years. I was too hasty, wanting to get the job done and move on. I waited the whole afternoon and if I just waited for them to get upstairs, to a bedroom I could see all of through the window, I would’ve seen her naked.
—
I remember the first time I killed a teenage girl. It was a sweet sixteen birthday party, the father of another kid was upset his daughter didn’t get invited. It was just four girls, and a mom who would or would not make mother of the year depending on who you asked. She bought them beers and even helped one girl roll a joint. As the evening dragged on, they lost the swimsuits to skinny dip.
The mother was a thirty-something blonde with average, yet perky, tits. I would’ve mistaken her for twenty if I hadn’t read the file.
Of the teens we had a plump but pretty redhead with freckles, a brunette with a huge rack and a bush you could hide in, and a petite black girl who could’ve passed for twelve if not for the shaved dyed-pink bush over her slit. Then there was the birthday girl, Nicole; a thin blonde with small pert tits and a smooth vulva.
I would’ve shot Nicole but my client wanted the birthday girl to hurt a little before she died. I waited for the right shot and I got it when she climbed up on the diving board. I lined my scope with her crotch, watching a few drops of water drip off her slit. I hoped that some boy was lucky enough to fuck her as my slug ruined any chance for a sex life, blasting a hole through her pussy.
Nicole screamed and crumpled to the water. Her friends laughed it off but her mother noticed the cloud of blood forming in the water and began screaming. The other girls realized what happened, the black girl helped the mom pull the birthday girl out of the pool. The busty chick stood there screaming while the redhead jumped in to help. By the time they dragged her out of the pool, the cuntshot teen recovered enough to realize she was badly hurt and started calling for help. The mom asked her friends to stay with her while she ran in to call the police when my second bullet blew her daughter’s head apart, splattering her brain across the deck.
Nicole’s mother screamed loud enough that I heard her for a solid thirty minutes while I fled the scene.
—
I once got this stalking assignment that turned into a hit. Some rich douche suspected his wife of cheating on him so I was to investigate and, if I discovered his suspicions were true, I was to kill her and whoever she cheated on him with.
She was a 25-year-old half-Mexican girl named Sophia, long hair, light-brown skin, average tits, and never wore a skirt or pair of shorts that went too far below the hips.
It was another job I took in my rookie stage and boy I learned fast that it was best to leave the investigating to someone else. I stalked Sophia for almost three months and I felt like an idiot when I didn’t catch on sooner. During my clients many business trips, I didn’t see her leave with a single boyfriend. I thought I caught her in the act about a week into the assignment when some Hispanic dude picked her up, only to learn that he was her brother taking her to a family gathering. Like I said, I wasn’t the best investigator; I’m the guy you hire to clean things up once the investigator found something.
It turned out I needed to keep a closer eye when she went out with her friends. One in particular, she often went out with a busty brunette. The one looked like a Korean Daria when she wore glasses. I thought it was a girl’s night out and Daria never dressed slutty like Sophia, only once wearing a skirt shorter than her upper legs.
I was ready to call it quits but I was getting low on money, so I decided to tail them one evening. Maybe Daria hated Sophia’s husband and was helping her meet someone? I followed them to a spot by the lake, the kind of place you’d expect horny teenagers to lose their virginity at. I drove on a little further before ditching my car and setting up in the trees. It was dark as shit where I was but their romantic spot was lit up well enough by the streetlamp. I wondered if I’d wait a few minutes or hours for their guy to show up, or if I’d waste a whole night for nothing; they might’ve thought it was a good spot for a midnight picnic, even though they didn’t seem to have any place to hide food in the bed of their truck nor did they stop to get anything to eat.
They got out after about ten minutes and climbed into the bed. The girls began removing their clothes, revealing on Daria a rack larger than I’d have expected under her t-shirt. Daria sat on the edge while Sophia went down between her legs. I waited for the perfect chance to get them both as quick as possible and I got it seconds after Sophia brought Daria to orgasm. Sophia’s head rose up and the two embraced in a kiss. I lined up the scope to the back of Sophia’s ponytail.
A cloud of brain matter splattered everywhere and the two fell out of the truck. I knew they were dead but I told myself to check anyways, that I needed to be sure; now that I’m feeling more honest, I just wanted to see their bare tits up close. Neither of them needed a mercy shot, Sophia no longer had a face and Darcy was missing the back of her head. I got a decent enough look at their tits, cursing myself for not bringing gloves so I could get a feel, and how I wish cell phones with cameras existed back then.
Her husband was stunned by the news. He then went on a tirade about whether or not she cheated on him with her other girlfriends. Though I told him I didn’t have any evidence, nor could I see how I’d get any at that point, he sent out a hit on all of Sophia’s old girlfriends. It didn’t matter if she cheated with them or not, the pay from icing seven women would fill my coffers for a good while.
—
I killed a kid for the first time not even two months after blowing a hole in the skinny dipping teen’s pussy; kids, in fact.
I wasn’t exactly hired to kill the kids; my target was some rich douche named Jason, who got caught stealing money from a mob boss.
I tracked him to a cheap hotel outside of some small town in Texas. Jason was in bed with three young girls, none of them even thirteen and all of them naked. A thin blonde, maybe nine or ten, laid between his crotch sucking on the tip of a cock just too thick to fit in her mouth. A redhead with decent-sized buds, maybe ten, maybe twelve, sat on his face while he tongued her snatch. The last girl, a thin Asian who was maybe ten or eleven, laid at the end of the bed, her face buried in the blonde’s pussy.
I attached a silencer to my gun and rounded the corner, putting a bullet right through Jason’s head. The blonde’s eyes bulged and she gagged, Jason’s cock spewing into her mouth. She coughed as the rest of his load splattered across her face. The redheaded girl started looking around, no doubt wondering why the heaven between her legs stopped, and froze when she looked at me.
“Sorry girls, no witnesses.” Not when it was a close-up assignment.
I fired a slug into the blonde’s head as she wiped cum off her glasses. She slumped forward, her head resting against Jason’s cock as it leaked cum and piss into her hair.
The redhead began screaming as I turned the gun towards her and fired four times. She grunted as all four slammed into her chest, three in her tits and one in her heart. She went quiet and slid off Jason and the bed, thudding to the floor.
The Asian girl continued licking the blonde’s pussy as I approached, one arm between her legs as she rubbed her own snatch. I put two bullets in her pussy, then silenced her screams by sliding the gun under her chin and putting three into her brain.
I put another round between the redhead’s eyes before leaving.
I usually didn’t like killing witnesses, just extra work without the extra pay, but I walked away from this one satisfied knowing I didn't have that particular limit.
